Who are you? What do you do? These are common questions as we go about our daily lives.
These are very difficult questions for many people who are currently unemployed, newly retired, 'stay at home' Moms, and so on. In today's society, we place so much value on what we do – our label, if you will.
As women, we typically grow up as 'people pleasers'. We lose sight of who we are, really; if, in fact, we ever figured it out! As women, also, we tend to compare the inside of us to the outside of everyone else. That needs to stop. Everyone has a story and most people are wearing their own mask.
There is a level of existence called our 'authentic self'. It is the YOU that can be found at your very core. It has nothing to do with our job, our function, our role in life. But rather, it is the combination of all our natural talents, gifts, wisdom, skills and so on. But many of us go through life not knowing or believing that we are good enough. So, we put on our mask – you know the one – for when we:
- Deal with certain family members
- Interact with business associates
- Attend social events
This is our fictional self. We take on this persona and go through our daily lives wearing one mask after another. Along with this, we teach people how to treat us. You may have found it easier to live your life this way.
But living life this way drains you of the critical identity and energy that you need to reach your goals and your dreams. I was the 'people pleaser' in my family. My father would often call on me to 'make things better' among the siblings. (I am sure that many of you can relate to this!) When my father passed away, many years ago, I buried all my masks with him. I made a conscious decision that day to begin to live an authentic, effective, progressive life – to use my talents and gifts and become the person I was meant to be in this life. My father often told me to "be happy with what you have", "don't get too big for your britches' – and so I lived a 'small' life. He meant well and I loved him dearly! But having worked with cognitive techniques for the past 20 years, I have learned that there is so much more to living a full life and that's what I wanted. And, as Maya Angelou says, 'when you know better, you do better'!
As a result of changing my thinking, taking off the masks, and utilizing my full God-given talents, some of the things I have accomplished are:
- Create a new life for myself in a new city
- Re-brand and grow my business (it's exploding….and I love it!)
- Find, and work with, one of THE best business coaches there is!
- Travel around the world, on a private plane, twice! (www.privatejettours.ca)
- Write 2 books, and create many other products (available on my website at www.steps2happiness.com)
And the list goes on and on.....
When I did travel around the world, I learned that it is common in some countries to wear masks. Check out this photo, in Africa, of Ben (President, Travel Guild) and me with King Solomon! Amazing fellow.....with great stories.
(That trip, and the many people I met, changed my life and changed my way of thinking. If you'd like more information on these trips, contact my friend, Ben, President, Travel Guild at 1.800.268.4284)
What about you? What mask are you wearing? Where is it holding you back from becoming the best person you can be? Are you living a small life?
If you're not feeling sure of 'who you are' these days because of what is going on in your life, I'd recommend you make some changes starting today. I am hosting a special 2-day retreat, in London, for women who would like to figure out who they are and what they want to be 'when they grow up' – see the information below! Sign up today
Steps2Happiness Assignment
- Today, look in the mirror. Who is looking back? Is that the real you?
- Have you lost contact with that inner voice? With your intuition? When did that happen?
- Is your public life at odds with the beliefs, passions, desires you have with your authentic self? What mask will you take off today?
- Begin to identify your authentic self – write down what she looks like, sounds like – her dreams and her goals. Take action today to live your authentic life again.
- Remember that I'm here for you, to help make it happen, safely...and effectively.
- For more photos of my trip around the world, and to read my stories, visit www.travelblog.org/bloggers/Happy-Pat/