When you think of the word 'happy', what comes to mind? I've included a picture of my friend, Michelle and her best friend, Buddy (her dog) who passed in early August, because Michelle's smile just lights up a room. When you look at her face, you want to smile too. It makes me happy to spend time with her.
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What are you doing, right now, to ensure you have as much happiness as possible in your day? What is one thing you could do, seven days a week, that would make you giggle with happiness? Hold that thought!
In this article, I want to address the concept of self-worth. Having a high sense of self-worth is essential if you want to make a commitment to be happy.
I can tell you, from personal experience, that there are many times in my life when I didn't feel as though I deserved to be as happy as I thought I should be or wanted to be. Self-worth and self-esteem both play a significant role here. People with a low sense of self-worth or self-esteem are always seeking approval from others.
Much of this, for me, goes back to my up-bringing. It wasn't right to think well of self. It was considered to be bragging. (Remember, I grew up in a French Canadian Catholic Military home...there was quite a bit of 'conditioning' going on there! And that's not good or bad, right or wrong – it 'just is'.) For all the times I excelled at school, or at sports, or in drama class – I learned to 'hold it in'.
Let's be clear. You can have a high sense of self-esteem in one area of your life, but a low sense of self-esteem in another area of your life. I had very high self-esteem when it came to my work, but very low self-esteem in my role as a step-mother. I often felt 'less than'. I was doing a good job but I was also comparing myself to others all the time. And every time you use negative self-talk in areas where you believe you have low self-esteem, it affects your performance. It's pretty difficult to be, and feel, and act happy in those circumstances.
I didn't feel happy on Mother's Day (I hated going to church that day because there was never, at that time, any recognition for step-mothers!).
I didn't always feel happy when I 'had to share' my husband with his children.
I didn't feel happy when my birthday wasn't acknowledged.
I didn't feel happy when I was told I wasn't a 'real' mother.
I could go on and on. The point here is that I am responsible for my own happiness. ME! Nobody else. Once I recognized that those feelings were consuming me, and life was passing me by, I made a conscious decision to make some changes.
Our sense of self-worth plays a strong role here also. As a step-mother, I didn't always feel 'worthy' on Mother's Day, or on other special family occasions. Our kids had a mother – and I know I'm not alone when I share these feelings. These days, with blended families being the norm, it takes a high sense of self-worth to get through some of these situations and 'special events'. Many times, I know that I 'tried harder' – but, trying harder doesn't do it. Thinking differently is what is required. When you change your thinking, you can change your life!
What I learned to do was to value myself for what I could do, for who I was, and for the positive influence I had on the family. 
I learned to think differently by writing, and reading, my affirmations on a daily basis. (I've included many samples of these in my "10 Steps2Happiness Home Study System".) When you change the way you think, you change the way you act. By way of affirmations, I was able to change my self-talk and therefore change my own beliefs about my sense of self-worth. It worked for me and it can work for you too!
I made a choice to be happy – as a wife, as a step-mom and as a person! I chose to be around happy people. I chose to create some happiness-producing events and to create new family traditions. Every day, it got easier and happier. Remember, this life is not a dress rehearsal. Today is all you have.
Your turn! Go for it! I am here to support you!If you're not quite at "there" yet, and you're not feeling very happy about your life, I'd recommend you make some changes starting today. The tool that will take you 'here to there' the quickest is The 10 Steps2Happiness Home Study System . It's everything you'll ever need to know to fill your life with happiness and feel in control! All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. So easy. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. You can get yours at www.steps2happiness.com.
Steps2Happiness Assignment
- This week, make a commitment to be happy! On an index card, begin a list of all the things that make you happy in your life. Keep writing until you have at least 50 items on your list.
- What is one thing you need to change in your life to create more happiness? Do it.
- Think about the happiest person you know. Phone that person. Make a date to spend some time with them.
- Begin a Gratitude Journal – it will change your life! Write down 5 things, at the end of each day, for which you are grateful. Do it as a family.
