The Happy Place

7 Steps to Reduce Worry!

While sitting in church on Sunday, our pastor was talking about the feeling of being overwhelmed. One of his statements was 'never worry alone'. That really jumped out at me, for a number of reasons.

"Worry is negative goal-setting" says my mentor, Lou Tice. Think about that for a minute – it makes a lot of sense. Most of the things we worry about never come about, anyway. So, why, as human beings, do we waste so much time and energy worrying – and, quite frankly, from my observations in coaching women over the past 20+ years, I recognize that this is one habit that many women have mastered. (I'm only referencing women because that's who I work with, for the most part.)

I will admit that my mind began to wander for the rest of the hour in church. I began to think about the many women with whom I work and the many 'worry statements' that I have heard over the years. Personally, I began to think about the drive that I made into downtown Toronto recently and how, at the first thought of doing that, I was a bit worried. Now, by nature, I am not the kind of woman who spends time and energy worrying. That's a useless emotion and habit, as far as I am concerned.

Some of the things my clients share with me that cause them worry include:

• Finances (how will I pay the bills this month – especially for new entrepreneurs)
• Aging parents
• Children going off to college
• What other people think about them
• The 'how' of ....anything
• Losing a job
• Being a 'bother' to clients (e.g. when determining how often to contact them and, yes, the 'how' of doing that)

I could go on and on with the lists of things that I hear. Personally, when I made the major changes in my life a few years ago – which included moving across the country to begin a new life and build my business here – I will admit that I did worry about becoming a 'bag lady' in my old age. Really! I had experienced financial hardship after my divorce, didn't have any clients in this part of the country and so on. There are many baby-boomers who have similar worries because of the state of their finances.

But, here's the thing! I didn't sit and worry about anything. I took action – and I want to share with you some of the steps that I apply, each and every day, to keep me moving forward – towards the dream. Again, the words of Lou Tice would often ring in my ears – "Oh ye of little faith!" Bottom line – you must believe in yourself and then take action to make your dreams come true. Or not – you can sit and worry till the cows come home – and nothing will change!

When I was on my trip around the world, I witnessed so many different modes of transportation. As I got my thinking in order and began the drive into downtown Toronto, I flashed back to the time I was in Viet Nam – (see photo) – going into Toronto was nothing like the experience of driving in Viet Nam. Easy, peasy, I told myself! Now, it didn't compare to getting around in Cambodia either (see photo) – but it's all relative, right? (If you would like to join me on the next world tour in the fall, call my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild: 1.800.268.4284 for information – and visit the website: www.privatejetadventures.com)

Here are the 7 steps that I use to reduce worry, follow my dreams and live a fabulous life. They work for me and they can work for you, too.

1. Identify what you want (so, rather than focus on the worry of being a 'bag lady', I turned my sights to the positive side of what I DID want to have happen in my life).
2. Be clear, concise and write it down (that's the beauty of creating a vision board).
3. Control your self-talk to be positive (focus on the words 'success' rather than 'bag lady")
4. Take risks! (oh yeah – I've done my share of that – with no regrets!)
5. Ask for what you want (a great habit to develop and you'll be surprised, and delighted, at the number of people who really have a heart for helping).
6. Eliminate toxic people from your life (that is essential to getting past worry – and stay away from other people who worry a lot!).
7. If you aren't happy with who you are and what you do, then change it.

Easy to do? Not always. Necessary to living a happy and fulfilled life? Absolutely. Does it all happen at one time? Never. Just take baby steps. The secret Step #8 is to take action today!

So, don't worry – be happy!

It takes a lot of energy to reach your goals. When we spend time worrying (mostly about things that will never happen, anyway), we take away from that essential energy and focus. So, again in the words of my mentor, Lou Tice – "just stop it!"

What do you worry about? How does that hold you back from living your best life?

Assignment

1. Today, make a list of the things you worry about.
2. Look at that list and ask yourself the question: "Is that within my control or out of my control?"
3. For those items within your control, begin to tackle them one item at a time and get that list down to zero.

Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www. confidenceandcourage.com

Three Questions That Can Change Your Life!

My friend Kate and I were discussing milestones in life and, in particular, some of the questions we ask ourselves when we hit a certain age.

Do you remember the movie, "The Wizard of Oz"?  Remember the tin man, the lion and the scarecrow and their journey down the yellow brick road, with Dorothy?  They were looking for the Wizard of Oz………..we're all looking for something, or someone.

Many years ago, a good friend of mine – Lee Buzzard – was giving a presentation and he was explaining to the audience that, since he was a Canadian citizen and often worked in the United States, going through Customs was a regular routine.  Each time he passed through Customs, he would be asked three questions:

• Who Are You?
• Where Are You Going?
• What Do You Have To Declare?

Lee went on to explain that our life journey is similar to passing through Customs – so we should regularly ask ourselves these three questions!  I know that is exactly what I did when I turned 50 years of age – and I didn't quite like the answers.  Much has changed since that time, for me.  Those major life changes took a tremendous amount of confidence, courage and having a strong support network.

I often think of, and reference, the movie, "The Wizard of Oz", in my own presentations.  Since most of my work is with women, the theme of this movie is so relevant.  Over the past 25 years and, as recently as this past weekend, I encounter women who are looking for brains (to learn more), looking for courage and confidence, and looking to find their heart again – much like the characters in the movie.  I have spent years working in the field of personal development and have mastered many of the mindset tools and techniques required to live my best life and to ‘have something to declare' on my own personal journey.

Who Are You?

What comes to mind when you ask yourself that question?  For many women, we have lost ourselves – lost our sense of identity.  For many women, also, when we reach the age of 50, for instance, we begin to wonder what else is out there in life – our role as mother has changed, our careers have peaked, and our lifestyle may be changing significantly.

Where Are You Going?

When I ask this question, and it is one of my favorites, I am often met with blank stares.  Women who have been in the corporate world for years are at a stage where it is more about significance than it is about success.  For entrepreneurs, it is often about working with more quality clients than it is about the quantity of clients.  For mothers, it is a very serious question of what to do with my life now that everyone is grown and I am not needed in that capacity any longer.  What tends to take over our mindset is fear, uncertainty and a feeling that we are ‘settling' in our lives.

What Have You Got To Declare?

And that's the real question!  I coach many women and help them to identify their strengths, their unique abilities, their talents – all of which can take them in any direction they choose!  However, many are stuck………..stuck in a rut…….stuck in a comfort zone……..staying with the familiar when, deep in their hearts, they know they have so much to offer.

I get very frustrated when I am in discussion with women who say they want to grow their business, change their career, try new adventures ……..BUT………they don't have the money, they can't find the time, they don't have the energy and so on and so on.  They need to get off their ‘buts' and get on with it.  My excitement and ‘job satisfaction' come from working with women who are willing to do anything, pay anything, and go anywhere to live life to the fullest. 

It's exciting for me, and for my clients, to experience the energy, the successes and the rewards to stepping up to the plate – stepping out in life – stepping into their greatness! There is no need to do this alone – great teams have great coaches.  Great athletes have great coaches. I know that when I tell women that I am a great coach, I often get looks of shock – it's like they're saying to me, "how can you be so bold'?  I am bold because I do know my strengths – I know my talents – I know my unique abilities.  I know I can help you with those 3 questions – but you need to ask yourself: "Am I ready? Am I serious? Am I willing to do, and pay, what it takes?"

Only you hold the key to your future.  What are you waiting for?  If not now, then when?

Assignment

1. Stop and ask yourself the 3 questions: Who Am I? Where Am I Going? What Do I Have To Declare?
2. How happy are you with the answers?
3. What is one thing you are prepared to do this week to begin to live your best life?

Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www. confidenceandcourage.com

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones – But Words Will Never Hurt Me!

Do you remember this little chant from our earlier days?

I can remember, so very well, a lot of the teasing that I took as a young child. I had reddish hair, a ton of freckles – I was shorter than most people, everywhere (it seemed). I can also remember how the teasing hurt. How we feel about ourselves - our self-esteem - our sense of self-worth – our self-image - this is all formed at a very young age.

I know, from the many workshops that I have facilitated over the past 25 years, that we, as adults, carry these 'tapes' in our head right to this very day. Unless you are very aware of your thinking and your vocabulary, you, too, can be saying things to others (and to yourself, still) that hurt you. Words are a powerful weapon. Our words are a direct result of what we are thinking:

"Our present thoughts determine our future." – Lou Tice.

In the workshop this past weekend, Dr. Brad was presenting information to help us, as public speakers, grow our business. The session was very interactive. It was interesting to me to see how often he would zero in on one's vocabulary – the words that were being used to describe oneself – words such as: hope, think, might, perhaps, wish, maybe. "These are weak words", he would say (and I couldn't agree more!).

To grow your business, you must grow yourself.

I ask corporate leaders all the time, "What are you doing to grow your people?" As entrepreneurs, ask yourself the question, "What are YOU doing to grow YOU?" As individuals, what are you doing to become the best YOU?

It all starts with the way we think. Our words represent our thoughts and beliefs – and then we go out and act like the person we believe ourselves to be.

To grow our business as a public speaker, it is essential that we use power words in the process. Some of the questions we were discussing include:

1. What are you passionate about?
   
   
2. What are you best at doing?
   
   
3. What is your legacy, or calling?
   
   
4. What are you going to give up/let go of to make it work?

As you answer these questions, become very aware of the words you use. In the workshop, that's when we were hearing words such as: hope, think, might, etc. I agree with Dr. Brad – these are weak words!

My coaching clients would agree that I am constantly listening for strong vocabulary in the conversations that we have. Click here to read some of their testimonials on my website.

When I was on my trip around the world, I paid particular attention to mothers and children. I listened to the conversations and, in particular, to the exchange of words. So, whether it was this young entrepreneur in Viet Nam who told himself, on a daily basis, that he COULD grow his business (selling snakes and turtles to tourists) – to this young gal in Iceland, learning a new dance from my friend, Anne – it's all in the power of the words being used. (If you would like to join me on the next world tour, call my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild: 1.800.268.4284 or visit the website www.privatejetadventures.com for more information! It's an amazing opportunity.)

"I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet." – Mohandas K. Gandhi

"Awareness is the master aptitude", said Dr. Brad. I concur. My updated version of the old expression would now read: Sticks and stones may break my bones and words will definitely hurt me. So, watch your words!

The beauty in all of this is that WE control our thoughts – we can change our core beliefs – we have the power. We can change those 'old tapes' in our head to become positive, up-lifting, affirming and forward thinking.

I know that I am a 'work in progress'. This is a 'do-it-yourself' project for me. I am constantly aware of my thinking and my vocabulary. I commit to putting brain in gear before I put my mouth in motion.

What about you? What is your level of awareness when it comes to your vocabulary – especially when you are speaking about your passion, your talents, your unique abilities?

Assignment

1. Stop and think BEFORE you speak any time this week. Become very quiet and aware of what words are beginning to form in your mind.
   
   
2. When it comes to work, does your vocabulary represent your passion, your talents and your unique gifts – or, are you practicing false humility?
   
   
3. When it comes to you, as an individual, does your vocabulary uplift and inspire?
   
   
4. What is one change you can make, beginning today, to incorporate more power words into your vocabulary? What difference will that make – especially if are you a coach or a public speaker?

Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www. confidenceandcourage.com

Who Are You and What Do You Do?

As I was 'out and about' these past few weeks, visiting different networking groups in the local area, the first question that is typically asked is "Who are you and what do you do?"

Now, that question can evoke a ton of emotion within us. For many women in business, and in life in general, (yes, I know this is a sexist comment – but, it's also based on my own observations.), this question alone causes:

• Heart palpitations
• Redness on the neck and face
• Nervous hand gestures
• Sweaty palms, and so much more.

The internal, self-imposed, tension and pressure can be overwhelming for many women. For men, not so much – they have had much more exposure and experience to the whole networking situation.
What causes this level of anxiety? From my observations, I would suggest:

• Negative self-talk ("I'm not as good as", "as smart as", "as eloquent as", "can't do this", etc.)
• Lack of preparation
• Lack of clarity as to how to communicate exactly what we do
• Feeling shy
• Lack of practice
• Lack of self-confidence – to name but a few reasons.

Some of the habits I've observed, in networking situations and in public as well, include staying with the small group of people that you know (comfort zone issues), not even going to an event because just the thought of it is 'too much to handle', lack of eye contact, standing with arms crossed (not very welcoming!), etc.

Well, the thing is, people are everywhere. Call it 'networking' if you want, but from what I can see, we can all stand to learn a few basic 'human interaction' skills for when we are in a situation, and have the opportunity, to meet new people – at home, at work, at church, at play.

Even when I was on my world tour, I embraced the opportunity to meet new people – heck, there was a plane-load of them! We know that, as human beings, we all just want to be part of a group, to be loved and to be respected. (If you would like to join me on the next world tour, call my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild: 1.800.268.4284 for information.)

Here I am with some of the phenomenal new people that I met on those trips – (Photos: in the lobby of the hotel in Hong Kong – I overheard these fellows talking about the bride coming in the door, who was from Vancouver. I couldn't help myself – as I'm ALWAYS networking – so I introduced myself so I could learn more about all of them . Then, on the plane, where we had the opportunity to master the skill of talking and juggling food/beverage at the same time – and that's a great skill to learn in the world of networking!)

In my book, "Leadership Gurus Speak Out!" (available at my website: confidenceandcourage.com) I share some great information about networking (among other things) – here are just a few tips to get you going:

1. Do you have enough business cards (and have you brought them with you)? You would be surprised how many people 'forget' to bring their cards with them – I always have a supply with me – in my purse, in my car, in my jacket when I'm out power walking too! You NEVER know when you are going to meet someone who wants to connect with you later.
   
   
2. Do your homework! Who attends the event? Make a list of people you would like to meet. When I first moved to London, I attended a premiere fund-raising event. I was invited by a new business associate. Prior to going into the building, I said to her – "I'd appreciate your help in meeting 3 of the top leaders in the city who will be here – who are progressive, authentic, positive and effective, have decision-making abilities and who would be open-minded to the kind of work I do." Mission accomplished!
   
   
3. How exactly will you meet and greet new people? (practice what you are going to say – I have a habit of listening to the other person first so that I get some perspective on what I am going to say in return, with respect to 'what I do')
   
   
4. What questions have you prepared? Will you talk about community events, TV shows ("Dragon's Den", for instance), family events? BE an interesting person.
   
   
5. Plan on how you will exit a conversation strategically and move on to meet other people.
   
   
6. Plan on how you will manage food, beverage, conversation all at the same time (when it's a 'standing' situation, I keep it simple and never try to juggle a drink, along with a plate of food – it's just easier that way.)

Those are just a few of my favorite tips. When I work with my coaching clients, I am always stressing the importance of meeting new people, being prepared, focus on developing relationships(again, whether that's at home, at work, at play, at church or in the neighborhood) and just be YOU!

"I am part of all that I have met." – Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English Poet

Being around people, and having the opportunity to develop relationships, is essential to our well-being. So, next time you are out, anywhere, and someone asks the question: "Who are you and what do you do?" – be prepared. More importantly, learn to ask the other person – and listen, with genuine interest. We all want to be heard and validated. Start today!

I've shared just a few of my favorite tips. What is your best piece of advice when it comes to networking – what has worked well for you?

Assignment

1. Plan to attend a new networking event this week as you focus on building your business and your network. Stretch your comfort zone, to build your confidence and courage. Use 1-2 of my tips and let me know what worked for you.
   
   
2. Next time you are at church, at a soccer game, a social event – look around for someone who may be there by themselves. Reach out. If it's not a business networking event, then ask the question: "Who are you and what do you do for fun in life?" (or some such question, to get the ball rolling....)

Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www. confidenceandcourage.com

You Just Never Know!

My Gratitude Journal, for the past week, is overflowing. I am so blessed, and grateful, to be doing the work that I truly love.

As an entrepreneur, however, there are those moments and those times when I sit back and wonder......am I really making a difference? Does my work really matter?

And the Universe responded – not once, but twice.

I have just recorded a new CD: "Finding the Confidence and Courage To Live Your Best Life – At Any Age!" I am very committed to sharing my message, along with the 'how-to' for living your best life based on my own life, and on what I've learned in working with some of the leading research psychologists from around the world.

When I was in Florida last month, meeting with my business coach and with my master mind group, I (once again) created, and committed, to some lofty goals. I have the potential! What holds me back, some times, are the same things that hold YOU back from being the best YOU that you can be – habits, attitudes, beliefs and expectations. One of my goals is to become an internationally acclaimed motivational speaker – drawing crowds upwards of thousands of women. That's the dream. Then comes the self-doubt.....as I mentioned in my note above: does my work really matter? Am I really making a difference? Who wants to listen to me? For me, these self-doubting thoughts don't usually last very long; but, I'm human too and it happens.

Last week two things, in particular, happened to change those doubts. First, 'out of the blue', came a heart-warming, inviting e-mail from a gentleman in Africa. Some of his comments are listed above (in the Free CD section) – in essence, he was saying that the content on my free CD was meaningful, relevant, inspiring and practical. We are now in dialogue to work together to help educate women in Africa – with the potential for me to be involved in one of his Global Conferences. Then, on Thursday, I was the guest on a tele-seminar: "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!" (pretty much my life motto) – hosted by Sue Papadoulis in Australia. When you do these tele-seminars, you never know who is 'out there' listening to you and, for sure, what impact you may be having on the audience. One woman took the time and the interest to write to me, saying: "Yesterday I listened to a recorded interview you had with Sue Papadoulis from Perth. I live in Queensland, Australia and was unable to listen to the 'live' version. I need to tell you that was one of the most empowering and powerful interviews I have had the pleasure to listen to. I know this may sound 'frilly and fluffy' but I connected with you on that call because you have been where I have been and still am at the same place, and you did it with sincerity and humor. Thank you. You don't know what a difference you have made......and I need to take a huge step into the unknown and do what I love to do and that is life coaching/counseling - and then you appeared out of the blue in an email from Sue! So I have decided that if you can do it I can do it too! I may well be 60 but I can re-invent myself one step at a time, one day at a time. So, thank you, thank you, thank you for your inspiration, honesty and for 'being real'! And as soon as I get my dollars in order I will be ordering your program. I can't wait." DW

(When I was on my world tour, I was fortunate to visit Africa on two occasions. I loved meeting the women and children and talking to them about our different lives. The women in these photos are both involved in business – one is making jewelry and the other works as a masseuse). To know, now, that I have a real opportunity to work with them, with Dr. Etta, gives me goose-bumps! If you would like to join me on the next world tour, call my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild: 1.800.268.4284 for information.)

Now, here's why I share these 2 stories with you:

1. It is essential that you are living your life purpose – and doing work that you love.
   
   
2. In doing so, you can change lives.
   
   
3. As a woman, it is important that we internalize the comments/notes/feedback because that is absolutely one way in which to build our confidence and courage.
   
   
4. It is important to hold on to the dream – people need to hear your message and we must not let our own self-doubts hold us back from helping others on their journey.
   
   
5. We are more alike, than different, in this world – as demonstrated by the 2 stories above.
   
   
6. Yes, there will be times when habits, attitudes, beliefs and expectations may get in the way of our dreams – find a way to get around those obstacles! Study. Get into a master mind group. Get a coach. Do whatever it takes!
   
   
7. When you have heard someone speak (via teleseminar, in person, etc.) and the message impacted you, be sure to send THEM a note. From my message here, today, you can see the impact that it has – coming full circle. We all appreciate being validated.
   
   
8. Continue to develop the confidence and courage you need to live your best life! This is not a dress rehearsal.
   

There will always be times when we doubt who we are, why we are here and what we are doing. Developing the habit of keeping a Gratitude Journal helps me to stay focused on all the many blessings in life and also helps me to build my confidence and courage – to continue the important work that I do.

Where are you making a difference? How can you step up, and step out, and get past some of the self-doubts that are holding you back?

Assignment

1. Give some thought to who inspires you – an author, a speaker, a coach, a neighbor, a friend – and send them a note to let them know.
   
   
2. Where is fear and uncertainty holding you back from living your best life? What is one step you can take, today, to build your confidence and courage?

Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www. confidenceandcourage.com

Setting Goals – How to Get Started!

"I really admire those Olympic athletes, but I could never do anything like that!" These are some of the comments I've heard over the past few weeks from people with whom I have been discussing the Olympic games. Typically, you would not find me in front of a TV for hours, let alone watching sports. No way! However, it was with a great sense of pride, and interest, that I did watch a lot of the games on TV. I did so with purpose and intent – and for the entertainment, of course.

I have always been very goal-oriented and I am happy to share my goals with people who can help me and support me.

"If you don't know what your passion is, realize that one reason for your existence is to find it.

All of us need a vision for our lives, and even as we work to achieve the vision, we must surrender it to the power that is greater than we know. It's one of the defining principles of my life that I love to share: God can dream a bigger dream for you than you could ever dream for yourself……..the key is not to worry about being successful but to instead work toward being significant – and the success will naturally follow." – Oprah Winfrey

How do you know whether you're on the right path, with the right person, or in the right job? The same way you know when you're not: You Feel It!

When I was on my trip around the world, I had many questions about my own life and what I was going to do – thus my book, "Who Am I Now?" (You can get your copy of the e-book today by clicking this link.)

I did try the luge (see photo of my friend Tom, getting ready) in Dubai and asked many questions

(here I am with an English teacher in his village in Africa!). A great way to learn more about yourself is to travel, try new things and ask lots of questions. (If you would like to join me on the next world tour in the fall, call my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild: 1.800.268.4284 for information.) 

Your life is speaking to you every day, all the time – and your job is to listen up and find the clues. Pay attention to what makes you feel energized, connected, stimulated – what gives you joy.

Then, begin with baby steps. If goal-setting has not been a normal, and usual, part of your daily living, it can feel overwhelming knowing where to begin. I always tell my clients to begin with baby steps.

"The biggest human temptation is not to want too much, but to settle for too little." - Thomas Merton

I attribute my ‘success' to these 7 basic steps:

1. Identify what you want (start with planning supper for tonight!).
   
   
2. Be clear and concise, and write it down.
   
   
3. Control your self-talk to be positive, up-lifting and forward thinking.
   
   
4. Take risks.
   
   
5. Ask for what you want.
   
   
6. You must eliminate toxic people from your life.
   
   
7. If you aren't happy with who you are and what you do, then change it!

So, not everyone aspires to be an Olympic athlete – nor an Olympic coach! What we do want is to live our best life. What one thing are you prepared to do, today, to work toward becoming significant?

"If it's to be, it's up to me!" – Lou Tice

Assignment

1. Pick one of the steps listed above and apply it to your life, beginning today.
   
   
2. Ask yourself the questions: So what? Who Cares? What Difference Does this Make in My Life Today?

Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www. confidenceandcourage.com

There's Support in Numbers!

I'm serious about my living my best life and I am serious about being successful in business. What about you? I am in Florida for a whole week of meetings with my business coach and master mind group. This has been a huge investment for me – and one of the best decisions I made in 2009!

"The Power of Great Dreams" –

We who are in this race for riches should be encouraged to know that this changed world in which we live is demanding new ideas, new ways of doing things, new leaders, new inventions, new methods of teaching, new methods of marketing……..new ideas for moving pictures. Back of all this demand for new and better things, there is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it."

My intention, over the next few years, is to make a ton of money – with money comes freedom and part of that freedom, for me, involves 'giving back" – wherever and whenever I can! That's my dream and that is my intention.

Having a dream, knowing your purpose and holding on to that burning desire to succeed are all important aspects 'of the journey'. The key to success, however, is gained through the master mind.

"No individual may have great power without availing himself of the Master Mind……no two minds ever come together without, thereby, creating a third, invisible, intangible force which may be likened to a third mind. The human mind is a form of energy, a part of it being spiritual in nature."

The one thing over which you have absolute control is your thoughts!

I have believed in the power of the master mind for years and years. It must be a properly chosen master mind group! My group, here in Florida, is made up of phenomenal business women from around the U.S. – an EFT practitioner, a wellness coach, a sales coach, a dental hygienist, an interior decorator/designer, a virtual assistant, a social media strategist, a videographer and so on.

We have worked hard, we have laughed hard, we have played hard – we have experienced tremendous success.

"The ladder of success is never crowded at the top."

When I was on my trip around the world, we visited the Maasai Mara tribe in Africa. It was so very interesting to chat with them about their lifestyle and their tribunal practices. Even they believe in the power of the master mind concept!

What are the benefits of belonging to a master mind group?

1. You are surrounded by people who know, like, trust and care about you and your success.
   
   
2. You have responsibility and accountability.
   
   
3. You have a plan and you work the plan. You tweak the plan and then you continue to work the plan some more.
   
   
4. There is tremendous cooperation, collaboration and sharing of intellectual property. Why re-invent the wheel?
   
   
5. We face fear – we celebrate success – we train our brains – we persist – we execute! We care.

"No individual has sufficient experience, education, native ability, and knowledge to insure the accumulation of success, without the cooperation of other people."

Have you had experience with a master mind group? If not, what are you waiting for? "No man is an island....".

Assignment

1. Do some research and learn everything you can about Master Mind groups.
   
   
2. Read "Think and Grow Rich."
   
   
3. Find a master mind group that is a perfect fit for you.

Do this and I will guarantee that you will take control of your life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www.confidenceandcourage.com

"There can't be a crisis next week – my schedule is already full!"

I had a meeting with a client last week and the discussion centered around how busy we all are. We had a lengthy chat about some strategies for taking control of each day. Here's a note I got from her over the weekend:

"Just thinking of you! Detoxing my office!!!! Big Time. Amazing how in front of my desk (where you access the closet & filing cabinet) was completely blocked with STUFF for over 6 months now. Almost like my road ahead was blocked!

Now all my filing is done and I will start to implement my work week. Monday's & Thursday's are client updates, Tuesday's are meeting days & Design days, Wednesday is a full design day & Friday is office admin & project management. I will also try and only check email at scheduled intervals. Any recommendations on that? Every 2 hours? 8, 10, 12, 2 & 4??? Great start to clearing the clutter and paving a new path for 2010." – client

I know many of you are feeling the same way – because you've been telling me that.

Let's talk about the importance of taking control of your day and, therefore, taking charge of your life.

We all have 8,760 hours in a year. To date, we've already used 792 (roughly) this year. Projecting ahead, I figure I have another 1,040 Saturdays in my 'active' life.

It is all about perspective and awareness!

I do implement some simple, yet effective, ways for managing my time – not only as a home-preneur, but also as a step-mom. Many of my clients are working step-moms and, as I tell them regularly, when there is chaos in the home, there is chaos in your business. It's time (no pun intended) to take charge! Before we know it, we will all be sitting in a retirement home....counting the hours!

On my trips around the world, I found it fascinating to watch people and to see how they spent their time –

In Viet Nam, it took time and hard work just to GET to work – in Cambodia, the sounds of the children laughing as they play remains one of my favorite memories. Everything in balance!

(If you would like to join me on the next world tour in the fall, call my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild: 1.800.268.4284 for information.)

"Those who make the worse use of their time are the first to complain of its brevity." - Jean de la Bruyere

Here are some simple steps you can begin using today:

1. Go to your office supply store and buy a wall calendar that will give you 'a year at a glance'
   
2. Get some dry-erase markers and allocate a color for each category/activity
   
   
3. Hold a family meeting (especially when there are stepchildren involved) to discuss what you want the year to 'look like and feel like'
   
   
4. Begin to map out the commitments on your calendar, all the while discussing 'what's working and what's not' – change is good!
   
   
5. On a weekly basis, set your boundaries with respect to time for work and time for family. (as you can see from my note above, I know – God willing – that I only have just over 1,000 Saturdays left for active play…..you can bet that I make conscious and wise choices about how I spend my time on Saturdays and with whom!)
   
   
6. Plan a rhythm and a routine for your weekly/monthly activities. As you can see from my client's note (above), we had discussed what type of activity would get done on which day of the week. For me, I only commit to client work 3 weeks/month – the last week of the month is reserved for product development, or vacation, or special events, etc.

The moral of the story is that once time is gone, you will never get it back. How are you 'spending' it?

Assignment

1. Go buy that wall calendar and schedule a time for your family meeting.
   
   
2. Agree that each person has a voice, and respect that voice/opinion/comments when they are shared.
   
   
3. Create boundaries for time at work and time at home. (Call your mother!)
   
   
4. Plan your month, with respect to work time, and see if that particular routine and rhythm work for you.

Do this and I will guarantee that you will take control of your life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www. confidenceandcourage.com

Steps to happiness --"Living Life Without Regrets?!"

I developed a mini-project for myself this past week and that was to listen carefully to what people were saying.

It was interesting to me that a theme developed – and it was one of regret. Now, the other interesting 'coincidence' (and I don't believe there is such a thing) is that, at church on Sunday, that was the topic for the sermon. It was part of a series titled, "God has an App for that!" Gave me goose-bumps! Then, later that day at home, while I was making soup and listening to "Jukebox Oldies", an Engelbert Humperdink song came on….."How could you leave without regret? Am I that easy to forget?"

While I am never at a loss for words, it was an interesting experiment to spend more time actively listening. I encourage you to try it. We can learn a lot about the people, and the messages, around us.

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage!" – Anais Nin, 1903-1977

Many of the conversations I've had with people over the past week have revolved around dreams for their lives, dreams for their families, dreams for their business. Have you given this much thought lately? We know how time flies – in fact, here we are at the end of January already! So, what are you waiting for?
When I'm engaged in these conversations, typically, I have 3 favorite questions:

1. What DO you want your life to look like?
   
   
2. What's getting in the way?
   
   
3. What are you going to do about it?

It's not complicated. We make it complicated. It's mostly about fear.

You've heard me speak, many times, about the value of having a vision board. I have come to the conclusion that people do not write down their goals, or create vision boards, because they are afraid. They are afraid of their own power of actually making things happen! I know from personal experience that the most difficult part is:

• Making the decision
• Stepping through the fear
• Savoring what's on the other side
  
  

When I was on my trip(s) around the world, the passengers traveling with me soon learned about my fear of water. However, as it happened, there were 'water events' every time I turned around! What's with that? It was up to me to make the decision to live life to the fullest and 'get in the boat', so to speak – step through the fear – and join the rest of the passengers on some of the most memorable experiences that I/we have ever had. Can you imagine what I would have missed had I not gone for the 'lunch on the Felluca" on the Nile? Or hopping in the water taxi in Viet Nam to visit the Floating Village or, better yet, just getting into the water at the Blue Lagoon in Iceland – which helped tremendously in the healing of my psoriasis!

(If you would like to join me on the next world tour in the fall, call my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild: 1.800.268.4284 for information.)

The moral of the story is "how could you leave without regret?" I, for one, will be darned if I let F.E.A.R (false evidence appearing real) get the better of me – I intend to live my life to the fullest – each and every day! What about you?

Steps2Happiness Assignment

I only have one question for you to consider this week. I took this from the current issue of Oprah magazine, that I read yesterday. It is simply this:

What is the most important thing in your life?

Answer this and I will guarantee that you will take control of your life. When you try new things, and meet new people, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

Now that you've handled the questions, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get similar results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www.steps2happiness.com

You Get What You Expect!

Here we are, at the end of November 2009 already! Time flies! It seems like only yesterday that there was so much 'to do' about the new millennium and here we are, facing 2010 already!

I used to set goals for the year but now, as I age (gracefully), I find that I am setting goals for the next decade. One year just isn't good enough for me anymore!

I've had some interesting conversations with some of my coaching clients over the past month. In Canada, we celebrated Thanksgiving in October and, after the holiday, my clients were sharing their holiday experiences with me. In my business, I seem to attract women who are not only solo-preneurs, but they are also involved in blended families. Being a step-mother and a business women myself, I am a 'similar credible other' and am able to share some helpful tips and hints, particularly for the holiday season.

That's what I want to do in this article today. December IS just around the corner. By now, my American friends, have had their own Thanksgiving experience and are sitting back and reflecting...what went well - and what didn't! The real question is "and what are you going to do about it, in preparation for Christmas?" That's the beauty of life! Once we get through one holiday season, another one is just around the corner. I think that's fabulous because, if things didn't necessarily go well with the family, we have time to be proactive and prepare for a different outcome for the next holiday.

"If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you're getting!"

To expect anything different is the definition of insanity.

So, what are your expectations for the Christmas holidays? Now is the time to think about it and discuss it with your family. Perhaps it's time for some new traditions? What's working? What's not? What is one thing you could do differently to increase the level of happiness for each of you?

(By the way, you WILL want to register for my tele-seminar on Dec. 1st with Barbara Freisner - she is an EXPERT on the topic of working with seniors/elders and we'll be discussing the holiday season and you can learn to make it a happier time for the seniors in your family!)

Sometimes, it's a good thing to change traditions. When I was on my trip around the world, we were in Prague and Iceland in early December. It was fun to be with friends, celebrating in a different way and enjoying the decorations, cultures, and food! (This photo is at one of the hotels in Prague just before we headed out to the Symphony! Such fun! - You, too, can have this experience by calling my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild at 1.800.268.4284 and getting information on the next world tour!)

We get what we expect out of life - not necessarily what we want. If you expect to have a bad time during the holidays - to have tension and stress and be exhausted - then that's exactly what will happen. Life is short. Is that what you REALLY WANT? Not me.

You have the power and you have the time, right now, to create a different experience for December 2009. If not you, then who? If not now, then when?

Steps2Happiness Assignment

1. Plan an evening to have a family discussion about the holidays.
2. Find out, from each person, what does work and what's not working.
3. What is one thing that each of you want to have happen so that Christmas is a more enjoyable, relaxed and pleasant experience this year? (and it doesn't have to be about money!)
4. Agree on at least one change and watch the difference it can make in your life!