While sitting in church on Sunday, our pastor was talking about the feeling of being overwhelmed. One of his statements was 'never worry alone'. That really jumped out at me, for a number of reasons.
"Worry is negative goal-setting" says my mentor, Lou Tice. Think about that for a minute – it makes a lot of sense. Most of the things we worry about never come about, anyway. So, why, as human beings, do we waste so much time and energy worrying – and, quite frankly, from my observations in coaching women over the past 20+ years, I recognize that this is one habit that many women have mastered. (I'm only referencing women because that's who I work with, for the most part.)
I will admit that my mind began to wander for the rest of the hour
in church. I began to think about the many women with whom I work and
the many 'worry statements' that I have heard over the years.
Personally, I began to think about the drive that I made into downtown
Toronto recently and how, at the first thought of doing that, I was a
bit worried. Now, by nature, I am not the kind of woman who spends time
and energy worrying. That's a useless emotion and habit, as far as I am
concerned.
Some of the things my clients share with me that cause them worry include:
- Finances (how will I pay the bills this month – especially for new entrepreneurs)
- Aging parents
- Children going off to college
- What other people think about them
- The 'how' of ....anything
- Losing a job
- Being a 'bother' to clients (e.g. when determining how often to contact them and, yes, the 'how' of doing that)
I could go on and on with the lists of things that I hear. Personally, when I made the major changes in my life a few years ago – which included moving across the country to begin a new life and build my business here – I will admit that I did worry about becoming a 'bag lady' in my old age. Really! I had experienced financial hardship after my divorce, didn't have any clients in this part of the country and so on. There are many baby-boomers who have similar worries because of the state of their finances.
But, here's the thing! I didn't sit and worry about anything. I took action – and I want to share with you some of the steps that I apply, each and every day, to keep me moving forward – towards the dream. Again, the words of Lou Tice would often ring in my ears – "Oh ye of little faith!" Bottom line – you must believe in yourself and then take action to make your dreams come true. Or not – you can sit and worry till the cows come home – and nothing will change!
When
I was on my trip around the world, I witnessed so many different modes
of transportation. As I got my thinking in order and began the drive
into downtown Toronto, I flashed back to the time I was in Viet Nam
– (see photo) – going into Toronto was nothing like the experience of
driving in Viet Nam. Easy, peasy, I told myself! Now, it didn't compare
to getting around in Cambodia either (see photo) – but it's all
relative, right? (If you would like to join me on the next world tour
in the fall, call my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild:
1.800.268.4284 for information – and visit the website: www.privatejetadventures.com)
Here are the 7 steps that I use to reduce worry, follow my dreams and live a fabulous life. They work for me and they can work for you, too.
- Identify what you want (so, rather than focus on the worry of being a 'bag lady', I turned my sights to the positive side of what I DID want to have happen in my life).
- Be clear, concise and write it down (that's the beauty of creating a vision board).
- Control your self-talk to be positive (focus on the words 'success' rather than 'bag lady")
- Take risks! (oh yeah – I've done my share of that – with no regrets!)
- Ask for what you want (a great habit to develop and you'll be surprised, and delighted, at the number of people who really have a heart for helping).
- Eliminate toxic people from your life (that is essential to getting past worry – and stay away from other people who worry a lot!).
- If you aren't happy with who you are and what you do, then change it.
Easy to do? Not always. Necessary to living a happy and fulfilled life? Absolutely. Does it all happen at one time? Never. Just take baby steps. The secret Step #8 is to take action today!
So, don't worry – be happy!
It takes a lot of energy to reach your goals. When we spend time worrying (mostly about things that will never happen, anyway), we take away from that essential energy and focus. So, again in the words of my mentor, Lou Tice – "just stop it!"
What do you worry about? How does that hold you back from living your best life?
Assignment
- Today, make a list of the things you worry about.
- Look at that list and ask yourself the question: "Is that within my control or out of my control?"
- For those items within your control, begin to tackle them one item at a time and get that list down to zero.
Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.
But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www. confidenceandcourage.com
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