The Happy Place

Confidence Tip for the Week: Networking Tips

Who are you and what do you do? Here are a few of my simple tips to make networking easier…….

Who Are You and What Do You Do?

As I was 'out and about' these past few weeks, visiting different networking groups in the local area, the first question that is typically asked is "Who are you and what do you do?"

Now, that question can evoke a ton of emotion within us. For many women in business, and in life in general, (yes, I know this is a sexist comment – but, it's also based on my own observations.), this question alone causes:

• Heart palpitations
• Redness on the neck and face
• Nervous hand gestures
• Sweaty palms, and so much more.

The internal, self-imposed, tension and pressure can be overwhelming for many women. For men, not so much – they have had much more exposure and experience to the whole networking situation.
What causes this level of anxiety? From my observations, I would suggest:

• Negative self-talk ("I'm not as good as", "as smart as", "as eloquent as", "can't do this", etc.)
• Lack of preparation
• Lack of clarity as to how to communicate exactly what we do
• Feeling shy
• Lack of practice
• Lack of self-confidence – to name but a few reasons.

Some of the habits I've observed, in networking situations and in public as well, include staying with the small group of people that you know (comfort zone issues), not even going to an event because just the thought of it is 'too much to handle', lack of eye contact, standing with arms crossed (not very welcoming!), etc.

Well, the thing is, people are everywhere. Call it 'networking' if you want, but from what I can see, we can all stand to learn a few basic 'human interaction' skills for when we are in a situation, and have the opportunity, to meet new people – at home, at work, at church, at play.

Even when I was on my world tour, I embraced the opportunity to meet new people – heck, there was a plane-load of them! We know that, as human beings, we all just want to be part of a group, to be loved and to be respected. (If you would like to join me on the next world tour, call my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild: 1.800.268.4284 for information.)

Here I am with some of the phenomenal new people that I met on those trips – (Photos: in the lobby of the hotel in Hong Kong – I overheard these fellows talking about the bride coming in the door, who was from Vancouver. I couldn't help myself – as I'm ALWAYS networking – so I introduced myself so I could learn more about all of them . Then, on the plane, where we had the opportunity to master the skill of talking and juggling food/beverage at the same time – and that's a great skill to learn in the world of networking!)

In my book, "Leadership Gurus Speak Out!" (available at my website: confidenceandcourage.com) I share some great information about networking (among other things) – here are just a few tips to get you going:

1. Do you have enough business cards (and have you brought them with you)? You would be surprised how many people 'forget' to bring their cards with them – I always have a supply with me – in my purse, in my car, in my jacket when I'm out power walking too! You NEVER know when you are going to meet someone who wants to connect with you later.
   
   
2. Do your homework! Who attends the event? Make a list of people you would like to meet. When I first moved to London, I attended a premiere fund-raising event. I was invited by a new business associate. Prior to going into the building, I said to her – "I'd appreciate your help in meeting 3 of the top leaders in the city who will be here – who are progressive, authentic, positive and effective, have decision-making abilities and who would be open-minded to the kind of work I do." Mission accomplished!
   
   
3. How exactly will you meet and greet new people? (practice what you are going to say – I have a habit of listening to the other person first so that I get some perspective on what I am going to say in return, with respect to 'what I do')
   
   
4. What questions have you prepared? Will you talk about community events, TV shows ("Dragon's Den", for instance), family events? BE an interesting person.
   
   
5. Plan on how you will exit a conversation strategically and move on to meet other people.
   
   
6. Plan on how you will manage food, beverage, conversation all at the same time (when it's a 'standing' situation, I keep it simple and never try to juggle a drink, along with a plate of food – it's just easier that way.)

Those are just a few of my favorite tips. When I work with my coaching clients, I am always stressing the importance of meeting new people, being prepared, focus on developing relationships(again, whether that's at home, at work, at play, at church or in the neighborhood) and just be YOU!

"I am part of all that I have met." – Lord Tennyson, 1809-1892, English Poet

Being around people, and having the opportunity to develop relationships, is essential to our well-being. So, next time you are out, anywhere, and someone asks the question: "Who are you and what do you do?" – be prepared. More importantly, learn to ask the other person – and listen, with genuine interest. We all want to be heard and validated. Start today!

I've shared just a few of my favorite tips. What is your best piece of advice when it comes to networking – what has worked well for you?

Assignment

1. Plan to attend a new networking event this week as you focus on building your business and your network. Stretch your comfort zone, to build your confidence and courage. Use 1-2 of my tips and let me know what worked for you.
   
   
2. Next time you are at church, at a soccer game, a social event – look around for someone who may be there by themselves. Reach out. If it's not a business networking event, then ask the question: "Who are you and what do you do for fun in life?" (or some such question, to get the ball rolling....)

Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www. confidenceandcourage.com

Confidence Tip for the Week: Accepting Positive Feedback

Have you ever just ‘thought’ about telling someone they’ve done a good job – or, that they inspired you – or, in fact, that they have had a HUGE impact on your life? Check out this video clip for my 2-cents on the subject!

 

You Just Never Know!

My Gratitude Journal, for the past week, is overflowing. I am so blessed, and grateful, to be doing the work that I truly love.

As an entrepreneur, however, there are those moments and those times when I sit back and wonder......am I really making a difference? Does my work really matter?

And the Universe responded – not once, but twice.

I have just recorded a new CD: "Finding the Confidence and Courage To Live Your Best Life – At Any Age!" I am very committed to sharing my message, along with the 'how-to' for living your best life based on my own life, and on what I've learned in working with some of the leading research psychologists from around the world.

When I was in Florida last month, meeting with my business coach and with my master mind group, I (once again) created, and committed, to some lofty goals. I have the potential! What holds me back, some times, are the same things that hold YOU back from being the best YOU that you can be – habits, attitudes, beliefs and expectations. One of my goals is to become an internationally acclaimed motivational speaker – drawing crowds upwards of thousands of women. That's the dream. Then comes the self-doubt.....as I mentioned in my note above: does my work really matter? Am I really making a difference? Who wants to listen to me? For me, these self-doubting thoughts don't usually last very long; but, I'm human too and it happens.

Last week two things, in particular, happened to change those doubts. First, 'out of the blue', came a heart-warming, inviting e-mail from a gentleman in Africa. Some of his comments are listed above (in the Free CD section) – in essence, he was saying that the content on my free CD was meaningful, relevant, inspiring and practical. We are now in dialogue to work together to help educate women in Africa – with the potential for me to be involved in one of his Global Conferences. Then, on Thursday, I was the guest on a tele-seminar: "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!" (pretty much my life motto) – hosted by Sue Papadoulis in Australia. When you do these tele-seminars, you never know who is 'out there' listening to you and, for sure, what impact you may be having on the audience. One woman took the time and the interest to write to me, saying: "Yesterday I listened to a recorded interview you had with Sue Papadoulis from Perth. I live in Queensland, Australia and was unable to listen to the 'live' version. I need to tell you that was one of the most empowering and powerful interviews I have had the pleasure to listen to. I know this may sound 'frilly and fluffy' but I connected with you on that call because you have been where I have been and still am at the same place, and you did it with sincerity and humor. Thank you. You don't know what a difference you have made......and I need to take a huge step into the unknown and do what I love to do and that is life coaching/counseling - and then you appeared out of the blue in an email from Sue! So I have decided that if you can do it I can do it too! I may well be 60 but I can re-invent myself one step at a time, one day at a time. So, thank you, thank you, thank you for your inspiration, honesty and for 'being real'! And as soon as I get my dollars in order I will be ordering your program. I can't wait." DW

(When I was on my world tour, I was fortunate to visit Africa on two occasions. I loved meeting the women and children and talking to them about our different lives. The women in these photos are both involved in business – one is making jewelry and the other works as a masseuse). To know, now, that I have a real opportunity to work with them, with Dr. Etta, gives me goose-bumps! If you would like to join me on the next world tour, call my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild: 1.800.268.4284 for information.)

Now, here's why I share these 2 stories with you:

1. It is essential that you are living your life purpose – and doing work that you love.
   
   
2. In doing so, you can change lives.
   
   
3. As a woman, it is important that we internalize the comments/notes/feedback because that is absolutely one way in which to build our confidence and courage.
   
   
4. It is important to hold on to the dream – people need to hear your message and we must not let our own self-doubts hold us back from helping others on their journey.
   
   
5. We are more alike, than different, in this world – as demonstrated by the 2 stories above.
   
   
6. Yes, there will be times when habits, attitudes, beliefs and expectations may get in the way of our dreams – find a way to get around those obstacles! Study. Get into a master mind group. Get a coach. Do whatever it takes!
   
   
7. When you have heard someone speak (via teleseminar, in person, etc.) and the message impacted you, be sure to send THEM a note. From my message here, today, you can see the impact that it has – coming full circle. We all appreciate being validated.
   
   
8. Continue to develop the confidence and courage you need to live your best life! This is not a dress rehearsal.
   

There will always be times when we doubt who we are, why we are here and what we are doing. Developing the habit of keeping a Gratitude Journal helps me to stay focused on all the many blessings in life and also helps me to build my confidence and courage – to continue the important work that I do.

Where are you making a difference? How can you step up, and step out, and get past some of the self-doubts that are holding you back?

Assignment

1. Give some thought to who inspires you – an author, a speaker, a coach, a neighbor, a friend – and send them a note to let them know.
   
   
2. Where is fear and uncertainty holding you back from living your best life? What is one step you can take, today, to build your confidence and courage?

Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www. confidenceandcourage.com

Confidence Tip for the Week - Get comfortable being Uncomfortable!

I'm Every Woman!

This week, we celebrated International Woman's Day – not something I take lightly. I honor, respect and celebrate the women who have 'walked before me' – without whom I would not be living this life of freedom and opportunity.

This past weekend, I spoke at the Amazing Woman's Day event in Toronto – the Canadian launch of this international initiative. Wow! Words cannot describe the experience. There's something very powerful when a room is filled with women, from all walks of life, each with their own story - mothers – sisters – entrepreneurs – career women – retirees – stepmoms – daughters – entertainers – authors – visionaries and so on.

There was a very full agenda of inspirational speakers, feminine leaders, entertainers, award winners and women who were there to learn, to share, to support and to network. And then we danced into the wee hours of the night.....such joy!

I was amazed! (to see my photo album of the event, please visit my fan page at Facebook here, and be sure to join as a Fan!

What makes a woman 'amazing'? Marsh Engle shares that there are "6 Essentials":

• Envision: Be Willing To Grow Beyond The Defined.
• Empower: Find The Yes In All Things.
• Ignite: Ignite The Power of Possibilities.
• Explore: Play With Fresh Curiosity.
• Trust: Collaborate With Sheer Trust.
• Embrace: Bring Your Brilliance To Life.

As you read those words, what comes to mind for your own life?

I've always had a big vision for my life; however, I also grew up with some very powerful conditioning that, in the early years, held me back. As I hold the dream of being an international speaker, with a best-selling book, - I can still hear my father's words: 'don't get too big for your britches!" This was always said with love and care, I know; however, as a young child we aren't able to discern in that way. As we grow and mature and have big dreams, it is just those kinds of words that tend to come to mind and can, if we choose, hold us back from becoming the best person we can be.

Many of the speakers, last weekend, were sharing stories about how our conditioning and core beliefs hold us back in life, and in business. Having worked in the field of personal development for over 20 years, I am blessed to have mastered the techniques of getting past those mental barriers, achieving more of my potential and continuing to dream big constantly. One of my strategies is to have great mentors (much like I discussed the need to have heroes in last week's issue). That's what I saw happening this past weekend – relationships were developing and connections were being made with mentors.

Those are powerful words that Marsh shares: Envision, Empower, Ignite, Explore, Trust and Embrace!

As women, we are more alike than different. I really discovered that as I traveled around the world, twice, and made it a point to have conversations with women in different countries. These photos show you how true that is – my friend Gail is 'exploring' by trying a new dish in Cambodia: elephant ear fish (yum!) – to these lovely young women in Viet Nam who 'embrace" new cultures, each and every day, as they greet travelers at the airport!

(If you would like to join me on the next world tour, call my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild: 1.800.268.4284 for information.)

"Only in relationship can you know yourself, not in abstraction, and certainly not in isolation." – Jiddu Krishnamurti, 1895-1986

What is an amazing woman? Who is an amazing woman? I say it is each and every one of us. Our responsibility, to honor the women who have gone before us, is to ensure we live our best life, each and every day.

Do you? If not, why not? If not now, then when?

Assignment

1. What is one thing you can do, today, to live your best life? (As Tim McGraw sings: "live as though you're dying!")
   
   
2. Find a mentor – give yourself permission to grow, learn and develop to become the best person you can be.
   
   
3. Take time for you – find a retreat, or a conference, or a workshop where you can go and meet some amazing women! (gee....keep reading.....there's one coming in May at the Elmhurst Inn!)

Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www.confidenceandcourage.com

Amazing Women – Pat, Jan and Shania Twain – ‘having a party!”

My favorite topic these days is finding the confidence and courage to live your best life.  Well, at the Amazing Woman’s Day Toronto (www.amazingwomansdaytoronto.com) event this past weekend, I had the opportunity to put my ‘money where my mouth is’ or, actually, …….my feet!

At the Celebration Dinner on the Saturday evening, there was some great entertainment.  Imagine my surprise when I saw Bette Midler entering the room – one of my favorite entertainers of all time.  (She, was really a he, and singing up a storm!)  “She” was very adept at getting people up on the dance floor and engaged with the action.  Not me, though!  No sirrreeeee…..I was quite content to sit and watch!  And it was entertaining.  However, once Bette finished her segment, out came “Shania Twain” – same routine – lots of singing and getting people out on the dance floor.  By this time, I was telling myself that I was going to get up and get in the game!  How many times have we (and I include myself in this) passed up an opportunity because ____________________ (fill in the blanks)?  For me, with Bette, I was just content to sit back and watch.  I know many people go through life that way!  I decided, in the “Shania moment”, that, instead, I would get up and get going.  Who cares if I didn’t know how to dance very well or, in particular, line dance?  Really – who cares?  And that’s the attitude I invite YOU to take in this journey called life. 

So, up and out of my chair……and on to the dance floor…….and you know what?  I had an incredibly fun time!  Now, typically, you can find me heading to bed at about 9:30-ish most nights.  Well, here it was, well past 10:00 p.m., I am sure (I didn’t stop to check my watch) and I really was having more fun than I’ve had in years.  So, check out the video clip and you’ll see me (in red, of course), my friend Jan Marie Dore and…….yes…….Shania Twain – ‘having a party’!

What about you?  What does life look like and feel like for you these days?  Are you ‘having a party”?  Or, are you sitting in the bleachers, just watching, and letting everyone else get out in the field and play?  Inquiring minds would like to know.  Please leave your comments below………hey, if I can do it, you can do it!

Intro of Marsh Engle for radio show

www.confidenceandcourage.com presents Pat Mussieux and Marsh Engle, to appear on "The Happy Hour with Pat" radio show, Wednesday, March 10th, 2010 at 11:00 a.m. EST - you can listen on line at www.chrwradio.com (part of the Body, Mind, Spirit program)

Amazing Womans Day Toronto

Setting Goals – How to Get Started!

"I really admire those Olympic athletes, but I could never do anything like that!" These are some of the comments I've heard over the past few weeks from people with whom I have been discussing the Olympic games. Typically, you would not find me in front of a TV for hours, let alone watching sports. No way! However, it was with a great sense of pride, and interest, that I did watch a lot of the games on TV. I did so with purpose and intent – and for the entertainment, of course.

I have always been very goal-oriented and I am happy to share my goals with people who can help me and support me.

"If you don't know what your passion is, realize that one reason for your existence is to find it.

All of us need a vision for our lives, and even as we work to achieve the vision, we must surrender it to the power that is greater than we know. It's one of the defining principles of my life that I love to share: God can dream a bigger dream for you than you could ever dream for yourself……..the key is not to worry about being successful but to instead work toward being significant – and the success will naturally follow." – Oprah Winfrey

How do you know whether you're on the right path, with the right person, or in the right job? The same way you know when you're not: You Feel It!

When I was on my trip around the world, I had many questions about my own life and what I was going to do – thus my book, "Who Am I Now?" (You can get your copy of the e-book today by clicking this link.)

I did try the luge (see photo of my friend Tom, getting ready) in Dubai and asked many questions

(here I am with an English teacher in his village in Africa!). A great way to learn more about yourself is to travel, try new things and ask lots of questions. (If you would like to join me on the next world tour in the fall, call my friend, Ben, President of Travel Guild: 1.800.268.4284 for information.) 

Your life is speaking to you every day, all the time – and your job is to listen up and find the clues. Pay attention to what makes you feel energized, connected, stimulated – what gives you joy.

Then, begin with baby steps. If goal-setting has not been a normal, and usual, part of your daily living, it can feel overwhelming knowing where to begin. I always tell my clients to begin with baby steps.

"The biggest human temptation is not to want too much, but to settle for too little." - Thomas Merton

I attribute my ‘success' to these 7 basic steps:

1. Identify what you want (start with planning supper for tonight!).
   
   
2. Be clear and concise, and write it down.
   
   
3. Control your self-talk to be positive, up-lifting and forward thinking.
   
   
4. Take risks.
   
   
5. Ask for what you want.
   
   
6. You must eliminate toxic people from your life.
   
   
7. If you aren't happy with who you are and what you do, then change it!

So, not everyone aspires to be an Olympic athlete – nor an Olympic coach! What we do want is to live our best life. What one thing are you prepared to do, today, to work toward becoming significant?

"If it's to be, it's up to me!" – Lou Tice

Assignment

1. Pick one of the steps listed above and apply it to your life, beginning today.
   
   
2. Ask yourself the questions: So what? Who Cares? What Difference Does this Make in My Life Today?

Do some of these exercises and I guarantee that you will start to live your best life. When you try new things, you are developing the confidence and courage to move forward and invent the life you truly want to live.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg - now that you've handled the question, how exactly do you live your life fully, 97-98% of the time? I've outlined every secret in detail, and it's all in my "Steps2Happiness Home Study System", so you can start using it all right away to get meaningful results. In addition to the exact techniques that have worked for me, the System includes everything you need to know to prioritize what to work on first, clear the decks, and set up simple, solid systems to organize your life. It's all step-by-step, not a big mishmash of things. So, you do step one of the system, and when you're done with that, you move on to step two, and so on. That's why my clients have gotten such great results from it. All the tools, scripts, templates, and examples are handed to you on a silver platter. So easy. You can get yours at www. confidenceandcourage.com